Three "Other" Acts of Self-Care

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At this point, I think we can all agree that 2020 has brought more than enough stress to our lives. In fact, self-care has almost become a mantra this year. Since tomorrow is Sunday, this week’s post offers a few new ideas for #selfcaresunday.

When most people think of self-care, images of yoga, DIY (because we’re still social distancing) facials, mani-pedis, and aromatherapy baths come to mind. There is absolutely nothing wrong with these soothing activities. But, if you’re looking to expand your horizon, I encourage you to think beyond these typical comforting acts. Give yourself credit for all of the other good things you’ve done for yourself lately. They may not seem like a big deal, but even the small stuff counts. Today I’m sharing three “other” acts of self-care. If you’re already practicing these habits – count them as wins. If you aren’t – consider adopting one or two.  

Disconnect From Social Media                                                                                 

I know, I know. This one can be hard to accept. I understand wanting to stay in the loop, but if the loop is only reinforcing negative thoughts, images, and energy, is it really helping you? Take it slow, and start off by ignoring social media for one hour of the day. If you notice a difference, move from one hour to two hours. If it doesn’t seem to help, then continue reading for more ideas.

Don’t Answer the Phone

This one is situational, depending on who it is contacting you, and what time of day it is. However, if you strongly suspect that the person calling or texting only wants your attention for gossip, or some other reason that will annoy you – don’t answer the phone. I know someone who verbally complains every time certain people call, yet she answers the phone - every - single - time. I still don’t understand it. By the time her conversations are over, she’s visibly more frustrated or upset than she was before answering. Why add the additional stress to your life?

Create A Routine

Having been stuck in this twilight zone for the past few months, each day can bring new feelings of being overwhelmed. One way to keep anxiety at bay is to create a routine, or series of routines, that you can commit to. They can be as simple as making sure you eat breakfast, or creating to-do list, the night before. However, if you just don’t have the time for new, daily obligations, then pick a few days out of the week to implement your routines. Again, they don’t have to be anything complex. The act of keeping your routine can be life-changing by itself. It allows you to have control over some aspect of your day, and in turn should increase your sense of stability.

Regardless of whether you’re sticking to your usual #selfcaresunday habits this week, or trying something new, remember that they are important. YOU are important. As long as your self-care makes you feel cared for - by you - that is all that matters.

2020 Vision: Are You Seeing Clearly?

Let me just say that I wrote and re-wrote this post multiple times. With everything that’s going on in the world, it has been difficult to write. I tend to lean toward the positive, and it’s been a challenge to figure out what to write that is positive, that also acknowledges the madness that it playing out in front of us. Then the idea of 20/20 Vision popped into my mind - probably because it’s time to check my eye prescription. At any rate, I started thinking about 2020 Vision in the year of 2020.

Most people think of perfect vision when they hear 20/20 vision. The American Optometric Association refers to 20/20 Vision as “normal visual acuity (the clarity or sharpness of vision)…”[1] 

We are officially half-way through 2020 and it feels like YEARS have passed since we rang in the New Year. We’re in the middle of a global pandemic, quarantine-life, a deep culture divide, social unrest, high unemployment, and a worsening economy. It’s enough to make you want to crawl into bed, and wake up when it’s over. Yes, 2020 has brought a range of emotions from fear to anger to exhaustion. It’s also presented a lot of time for reflection.

99% of the time, I am an optimist, but if I’m honest, this time around, I think things will get worse before they get better. So, going back to 20/20 Vision and positivity, I asked myself, “Out of all this chaos, what practical things can I do to keep my sanity? What do I need to gain clarity on in this alternate reality that is 2020?” So far, the most obvious answer is that I can’t control everything around me. I admit, I try really hard to create a peaceful environment in terms of my social circle, and media and digital content that I consume. Currently, it has helped to balance all of the worry and anxiety that these “unique” times have brought.

The second thing I’m clear on is that while I can’t control everything, I can make a plan around certain things that are happening. Here’s what I mean:

Coronavirus: A majority of the states have re-opened and I’m still taking precautions against COVID 19. But I had to be honest with myself and think about what I would do if I were to contract the Coronavirus. When would I choose to seek medical attention, and where? Are my emergency contacts up-to-date? Who else would need to be notified? If it should affect a close family member or friend, I obviously can’t physically be with them, but what kind of assistance can I offer them? I could leave food and water on their doorstep, pick-up prescriptions (again leaving them on the doorstep), and call/ text regularly to check on them.  

The Economy: While I am convinced that no one really knows what the economy is going to do, or when, we can try to prepare for ups and downs. A lot of people have seen the “downs” lately. I have been unemployed before, and it is definitely rough. These past few months have been a reminder of the importance of saving. I tend to be pretty frugal; however, I have actively reduced my spending in order to save more. We can’t always save significant amounts of money, but we can try to save a little for a rainy day. Depending on the circumstances, the rainy day fund may not be able to produce a whole umbrella, but it can downgrade the storm to a shower. In the meantime, it’s important to know what type of financial and financial-related assistance is available in the community. When personal funds just aren’t there, a rainy day plan may have to be executed. This could mean getting rid of luxuries (premium subscriptions, cable, streaming channels etc.) or even moving in with family or a friend, to temporarily cut expenses.

Social Unrest: As a Black woman, I understand the frustration, hurt, and anger that we’re seeing expressed across the country and the world right now. My parents didn’t sugar coat the history of racism in this country, or their experiences with discrimination and prejudice. I too have experienced it first-hand. None of these issues developed overnight, and none of them have quick fixes. Change is uncomfortable. The realist in me recognizes that meaningful and systemic changes are necessary to bring about a more inclusive and equitable society. In terms of planning in this area, I am more aware of my civic engagement and how I can support others that are actively engaged. I am also more aware of who I’m spending money with. Do the brands that I purchase, support the same social ideas that are important to me? What is the extent of their support? Is it simply statements on their websites and social media, or are they actually implementing plans to make their workforce and leadership more inclusive? Yes, this information can be hard to come by, but with social media, especially #blacktwitter, nothing can stay hidden forever.

Having said all of that, do I believe that I can plan away everything that’s been causing headaches and stress? Absolutely not, but I do believe that having a planned approach is an effective way to minimize the trauma, and maintain some semblance of control. Everything may not go as planned, but having a plan is better than no plan.  

So what are you getting clear on this year? What will your planned approach be?

[1] https://www.aoa.org/patients-and-public/eye-and-vision-problems/glossary-of-eye-and-vision-conditions/visual-acuity